DISQUS

DISQUS Hello! kev/null is using DISQUS, a powerful comment system, to manage its comments. Learn more.

Community Page

kev/null

Jump to original thread »
Author

Knowing What You Want

Started by kevnull · 6 months ago

For the most part, my blogging since moving to San Francisco has either been professionally related (the business, the comics and the conferences), my short movie reviews to remind myself what I thought of a movie, and small random and somewhat humorous anecdotes. It’s not ex ... Continue reading »

10 comments

  • Ben

    3 years ago

    Totally hear ya. I'm right there with you in terms of not knowing what I really want, and it seems that every time the relationship ends, I think I'm getting a clearer picture of what I DON'T want (though that's rarely the truth).

    Here's to finding it.
    reply
  • Meri

    3 years ago

    *hugs*

    Sorry, not sure what else to say/do.
    reply
  • Laura Moncur

    3 years ago

    Hang on, babe.

    Love comes when you least expect it...

    Or so they say...
    reply
  • JayZ

    3 years ago

    My life lessons in no particular order.

    Lesson #1: There is no perfect person.
    Lesson #2: Even if you think you've found the perfect person, they won't stay perfect.
    Lesson #3: It's never the right time.
    Lesson #4: Women, relationships, emotion, rational. Which word doesn't belong? ;)

    Hang in there.
    reply
  • vanderwal

    3 years ago

    I used to notice a few "un-matching" seasons. Summer, just before the Fall/Winter holidays, just before Valentines Day, and September. I have not been paying attention to that cycle, but it sounds like it still churning.

    As far as finding "that one", it happens when you least expect it or want it. Does it last? Can't tell you on that one because I have no clue.
    reply
  • Elea

    3 years ago

    I think that as we go along, the idea of who we want naturally changes -- maybe just a little or maybe a lot. To not know what you want is okay. At the very least, if you know what you definitely DON'T want, you've got a starting point to build from.
    reply
  • Jonathan

    3 years ago

    I've heard tell of several lessons:

    Lesson #1: You have to go through about eight relationships before you have a good idea of what you want. On a related note, a math major once told me you shuffling your Magic the Gathering Deck eight times achieved optimal randomization.

    Lesson #2: Don't be bitter. Being bitter is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. On the other hand, it also puts you in a comfortable state of mind, kind of like retreating into a fictional world from reality-- like, say, Azeroth. Don't give in to the addiction of either.

    Lesson #3: There is no "good" time to break up. There is no "good" time for love, either. Enjoy it while it lasts, and remember the good times. Failing that, see #2 and if you really must retreat into that fictional world, play Magic the Gathering at a cafe and try to teach strangers how to play. You never know who you'll meet.

    Geek lessons FTW! XD
    reply
  • lantzilla

    3 years ago

    Your post was quite heart-felt. But, alas, I've no advice on the matter. I think that humans and their associated emotions make up an environment with way too many variables and therefore is almost impossible to predict with rational means. The key take away here might be not to try to overthink it. I know it's probably pretty hard for you to not think, being you're so smart and all, but I think it might provide explanation. Also, know that you're not alone and that everyone has been there before. I don't care who you are, you've been there.
    reply
  • sergio

    3 years ago

    OMG! Like! You're totally talking about me! Liek, rofl!!!1!uno!

    Anyway. I feel for you man. And I feel exactly the same, incidentally. Not sure what can be done about it. I've been trying to figure out what exactly it is that a) I am offering, and b) I want. These are two entirely separate entities, and they probably have a bigger impact in how relationships turn out than we appreciate at the time.

    Or I may be just talking out of my ass. We should go grab a beer while you're still in the neighborhood.
    reply
  • Arthur

    2 years ago

    Fortunately everyone seems to be in the same uncharted waters of "what the hell do I want?" I suppose that's an opportunity of sorts that you can serendipitously crash into someone else who's sailing around blind. Not that those odds are any good.

    You can always do what I did: drop the girlfriend and fly around northern Europe drinking and clubbing.
    I don't think it solves any problems but you feel better for a little while. :-)
    reply

Add New Comment

Returning? Login